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nadroj male

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I guess now is a good of time as any. [11 Jan 2010|05:36am]

 I haven't updated in quite a while, but tonight seemed like a good time to do one. it is 5:30 in the morning, I am sitting outside Schamuan's place smoking a cigarette. It was colder yesterday. Things are good, I want them to get better, I will work on that this year. Also, I guess my New Years resolution is to not gain all that damn weight back. What I really want to do is lose is lose another 20 - 30, ah hell, why not 40 more pounds in the spring. I feel like the warm air will awaken my dull spirits. I want to get back in to biking all day and walking miles around town, hiking the gorge. Why not eat some fresh fruit and vegetable while I'm at it.

 

Isaac is talking about wanting to get a farming job in the summer. Why the fuck not, fresh air, hard work and the occasional break-time-joint. HOLLA BITCHESSSSSS

Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

well. [25 Jun 2009|09:01pm]
sorry about all the recent bitching. i really do have a wonderful life, and i am surrounded by wonderful people. things are good
Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[23 Feb 2009|03:50am]
i am sick. i have been for a little over a week now. FUCK THAT! i am finding it hard to sleep. i am finding it just as hard to wake up.  i am in a rut. my body aches from tossing and turning all night. for the past two weeks, no matter what time i have gone to "bed" i have been awake when the sun came up. i need to figure this shit out. someone kill me.
1 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[23 Feb 2009|03:41am]
i wish i were alive

in the dreams that i've designed

where worry is not a word

that ever comes to mind

we take the train downtown

your hands are cold

your eyes are big

lets stand at the fountain

when it gets late

i'll turn to you and say

come rest your head

let it rise and fall

with the air in my chest

don't let go of my hand
 

 

 

 

 

Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[08 Feb 2009|11:44pm]
i just wrote a long obnoxious entry, complaining about my love life shit, and then i told myself, "dont be an asshole, you are so fucking shallow, anyone that reads this is just going to think you are an asshole." so then i wrote this entry. and i am having second thoughts about this one as well.
Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[08 Feb 2009|04:12pm]
dustin and I, are taking pictures today. we are playing at fountain square Wed. the 18th, so they are advertising the event, and a horrible ridiculous picture of us will be up on the big screen in downtown, keep an eye out for it.
Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

Hello, Mr. Elam [06 Feb 2009|07:48pm]

d o

 

s o m e t h i n g

 

d i f f e r e n t

Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[01 Feb 2009|02:56am]
[ mood | come on, man ]

I don't know why i make a post occasionally. I really dont think that ANYONE reads this, I dont think anyone has in maybe 3 or 4 years. I guess I use this as a literal journal. so anyway, I really, really want to get out of this fucking slump. Sometimes I fear that I will just never get my shit together, and even after college, when I have my job, I am still just going to sit around feeling sorry for myself like a fucking asshole. one of the unfortunate signs of clinical depression is constantly barraging ones self with negative thoughts. Without even realizing, I will just say to myself "jordan, you are fucking pathetic, why cant you get over your shit and start enjoying things that you used to enjoy" It is nothing i am proud of, and the sort of thing that i would hate to hear some douchebag talk about, I would feel like they were half bragging because they have some interesting symptom, and I haaaate when people do that. But then again, no one reads this, so its just for me.

I guess I just wanted to type this out and try to start working on moving past my current state of being. So, well... how did I used to write in my live journal? I guess I just wrote down what i did during that day, or i put in some melodramatic lyrics and acted like my problems were much bigger than they really are... hmm, sounds familiar.

Today I woke up, did nothing... borrowed my mothers car to leave the house for 2 hours.. awesome. Got dinner with the fam, got home and started working on a new song. yessssss. i like it so far, Dustin came over and helped me with some guitar work, because i am no guitar player, not in the least bit. After that Brad and I went to 2020, hung around there for a little while. Came back to my house with byrd and tayloire and we got some fancy ass cheese from kroger, took it home, and ate it while watching curb your enthusiasm. now i am tired, and want to go to bed. f

3 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[31 Jan 2009|03:03pm]
damnit, jordan.
damnit.
Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

damnit. [24 Jan 2009|01:28am]
[ mood | fuck you ]

i am not a hypochondriac, but i googled clinical depression to look at all of the signs, i exhibit every single fucking one of them. i am making an appointment to go see a doctor about all of this nonsense. i hate it. i can no longer have fun doing things i used to love doing. i just sit around and wallow in my own, stupid fucking misery. its not quite the life i expected to be leading at 21 years of age. oh well. i should get used to it now.

Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[15 Jan 2009|11:34pm]
ahhh fuck this.
Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[15 Feb 2005|04:29pm]
if you read this,

even if i don't speak to you often,

you must post a memory of me.

it can be anything you want, it can be good or bad,

just so long as it happened.

then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you....
17 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[23 Jan 2005|04:36am]
[ mood | whew ]

you said that you would not love me last summer
and you said that you would not love me last spring
but i hoped that you would change your mind by autumn
especially when i bought that diamond ring
but you still said no
you would not have me
you still said no, no, no

i heard that you've been sleeping with your old friends
and i heard when each one left, and broke your heart
i told you then that i would never leave you
i told you that i loved you from the start
you still said no
you wouldn't have me
you still said no, no, no

even though you haven't any answers
you still think that you don't need anyone
to save you from the mess that you've created
and even when i gave my only son
you still said no
you wouldn't have me
you still said no, no, no

3 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[18 Jan 2005|09:57pm]
this is a good week
a good week this is
week good a is this
is this week good a



woot
6 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[11 Jan 2005|01:50am]
i think this weekend has changed me a bit
i feel older
2 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[21 Dec 2004|07:39pm]
its tuesday night
i`ve been in the studio since monday
whew
its been a loooong journey
a very long one
and i cant think of anything else to say
1 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[13 Dec 2004|02:57am]
man
its weird... looking at things i want for christmas...
being a musician has sure changed the list
"man... this hardware case is awesome"\
and it is...
holds the snare drum, cymbals and all the hardware..
but.. for christmas?
what happend to wanting
R.C. Cars?
K`nex... (boy did i love k`nex)
nintendo games
etc.
and i asked for studio time for christmas
ha
this is how i know
playing music is definitely for me
latley more than ever
i realize,
how much i want music to be apart of my life
not just a part of my life
my whole life
and i really hope it is
4 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[12 Dec 2004|08:53pm]
the show last night
was amazing
and thats that
3 Have reached the bottom. Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

hello [10 Dec 2004|12:04am]
Now today me and joel had a very important conversation
xtheTragedianx: i was at the kenwood mall today
xtheTragedianx: with two girls from the jam
xtheTragedianx: just minding my own business in the foodcourt
Jordan eXploded: yeah
xtheTragedianx: when BAM! two cave girls just come out of nowhere... its like the morphed out of the walls
Jordan eXploded: whoa
Jordan eXploded: dude
Jordan eXploded: wow
Jordan eXploded: wow

__________________________________________________
Now some people may not see the importance of this
Basically... a cave girl
is a girl that you only see at shows
the beautiful girls that like all the bands you do
that you are too afraid to talk to
and you wonder why you never see them anywhere else
this is why
they live in caves...
they rarely ever come out of there caves
only for shows... or sometimes to hang out
a rare ocasion
and if you find one
that isnt married (pssssshhhh)
kidnap her
and find out where this cave us
for all of us

thank you
Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

[09 Dec 2004|01:25am]
no matter what words i say
she just thinks it's my best line
she'll look at me that way and say yeah
she'll say boys lie
thanks guys you've really done it for me this time
now i'm watching her walk away
i'm not like all the others
i get lost inside your eyes
and it comes as no surprise
that still she won't believe me
she's heard it a hundred times
Of what once seemed a bottomless pit.

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